Peace

It's such a nice thing once you achieve it. So many think that there is no way that they will ever achieve peace with someone in their life. I have a couple in my own that I have felt that way about at some point or another.

How do you achieve peace with these people? Well, I can only tell you my side of how M's biological mother (BM) and I did it. She moved away! LOL

No, seriously! That's what happened! Okay background*. We all lived in the same state and we fought like cats and dogs. When we found out that BM & her husband were planning to move out of state, we filed for custody as we wanted to keep M here in the same state where all his friends & family were. We weren't speaking to BM and she wasn't speaking to us so nothing was said to her about us filing and she didn't say anything to us about moving until about 2 weeks before the move. I don't know her motives. Don't care at this point. It's been 4 years. It was what it was. Doesn't matter anymore.

We got to court and we ended up not getting custody of M. (something S still laments over...hindsight being 20/20 we probably shouldn't have said anything to him about trying at all. again too late doesn't matter) So January of 2009 M moved to another state. It started out things were as hateful as ever. Then slowly it seemed that BM was realizing that M needed his father for stuff. Where she used to just deal with stuff on her own, we began getting text messages. "M had a hard day at football and is really upset. He could use a phone call from his dad." and similar. It was awesome! :) And we would drop everything and give him a call. The only time we delayed was when we were at DH's brother's wedding and he called as soon as we got the text.

Things fell apart again at the end of football season but it didn't last nearly as long. We were able to move past it and begin to truly co-parent. Do we LIKE living thousands of miles away from M? Absolutely not!! But we do enjoy that there is finally peace between the households. We've been able talk on the phone & in person when she's in town about different issues, she & I have even friended each other on Facebook and are on a page together entitled "Biomoms and Stepmoms Working Together" :)

M isn't necessarily enjoying this peace nearly as much. LOL If I vent about behavior on FB, she's giving me punishment ideas and then getting on him when they talk or text. But I think despite that, he's truly happy that we're all getting along. She posted today that he's not as stressed to talk about us with her anymore. And the same is true here as about her.

Here's to this peace lasting a long, long, long time and us being able to work through any future conflicts that I'm sure will come up (because let's face it...whenever there's more than 1 person involved in a situation conflict is bound to arise)!!


* This is obviously written from my perspective of how things went. I'm writing about our side of factual events that happened. There is nothing negative intended towards BM.