Current Events in the TK Household

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Last summer I dealt with excruciating pain from May to August. It was determined that I had Parvovirus (or Fifth's Disease as it's better known by in humans). I did research, after the diagnosis, and discovered that in some female adults Parvo can imitate Rheumatoid Arthritis. Eventually I healed from the Parvo but the Rheumatologist had told me that he'd probably see me back that winter. He said that Parvo could throw me into having worse arthritis than I already had. I didn't believe him. I should have. Winter came with as much, or more, pain than I'd had over the summer. I just dealt with it. It never went away though. Finally my mom remembered that her aunt has Fibromyalgia and suggested I look into it.It fit! All my pain symptoms, tired feeling, as well as some other diagnoses I'd been dealing with for years (anxiety, depression, irritable bowel syndrome..to name a few), all of it fit under the Fibromyalgia heading so I saw my doctor. He did a few tests, gave me some medication, and off I went.

I try to not let my Fibro rule my life. I try to still get up and moving. I'm in pain just about every day. It's gotten to the point that if the pain level is able to be ignored I consider that being pain-free. Honestly, the exhaustion is the worst for me. I'm more tired now than I was while pregnant or in new mom no sleep stage with my babies.

The part that sucks the worst about this is that I was doing so well working out and trying to lose weight. However now most of the exercises I was doing aggravates either my pain or the exhaustion or both. I'm still trying, albeit not very well, though. I was down 11 pounds but gained 6 of them back. I need to get my butt in gear and get moving again. It's difficult though. Not only cause of the pain, but because I'm an emotional eater and we're dealing with a pretty heavy crisis here.

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Some of you reading this already know everything I have written and am about to write but I am going to write it anyway.

Back in April, K told us she'd been sexually abused. No, obviously my 5 year old did not use those words.She told us exactly who did what to her. This news DEVASTATED us! It has rocked our world and changed everything forever.

It has changed K because now she has to learn the hard way about good touch/bad touch. About who is allowed to touch her where. And about evil in the world, even in those we trust and love wholeheartedly.

It has changed S because he trusted and loves the person who assaulted K just as much as she does. So now he's trying to reconcile the version of this person that he knows with the version of this person who would do this to K. Let me tell you, that's not an easy thing to try to do. S still loves this person. Still wants contact with this person. However, we cannot allow that because the investigation is ongoing.

It has changed M. This has brought out anxiety issues with him among other things. He's currently not coming on visitation and we're currently not in contact with him because of this crisis.

It has changed Hubby because his little girl was violated and he can't do anything about it. He can't make it better for her and he can't do anything to or about the person who violated her. We are in a waiting game waiting for the police to finish their investigation and potentially (hopefully) file charges. Hubby is like most men. He wants to DO something or at least see that something's being done. That's not happening. He's angry and hurt.

This has changed me. I've never experienced the feelings I feel about this mess. I'm torn in two. I am broken. The stress is aggravating the fibromyalgia, my anxiety, my depression, everything. My baby girl, my princess, was hurt. She was hurt and I knew nothing about it. There were no warning signs. Well, there was but it was something that had other explanations as well. Her "girlie parts" (i seriously hate the word vagina... no idea why) would get red and sore frequently. We always contributed it to not wiping properly (because we knew she didn't). We never even thought it could be something else. She never gave any indication until that horrible day that she told her dad what happened to her.

Some people think I should keep what happened to her a secret. I HIGHLY disagree!!! Keeping this a secret is what allowed K to be this person's SECOND victim. True, I'm not outwardly saying who did this to her, however once the investigation is over and they've decided about charges and stuff, I will name names. I don't want this person hurting anyone else. That's why, despite how loved this person is, we are pursuing charges and doing whatever we can. This person needs help. Hopefully can be rehabilitated. I've heard mixed reviews on if that's possible by professionals in the psychology field. All I can do at this point is pray for the person that sees the wrong that was done and that the person changes their ways. The Bible says we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. I pray that this person turns to God through this. The person has the foundation there, has gone to church since the age of 3.

I don't really know how I planned to end this post. so I'll just end it with please pray for us. God knows who the person who did this is so please also pray for that person as well.