Two top ten lists

I was talking to a friend last night and I made mention that I have kinda crawled into a hole lately. I don't talk to hardly anyone for any extended amount of time and when I do it's rarely positive.

Soooooooooo................ I am making two top ten lists for myself today. The first one is:

Top ten things I do *not* like about myself

1. I do not like that I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
2. I do not like that I am easily irritated (which is a symptom of adult adhd)
3. I do not like that my belly sticks out further than my boobs
4. I do not like that every since I was a teenager I struggle with 'major depression'
5. I do not like that I am 30 and still have acne (thought that was supposed to go away at some point)
6. I do not like that I feel emotionally connected to very little.
7. I do not like that I have trouble remembering to take medication (any medication, vitamins, antibiotics, ect...)
8. I do not like that I think more negative thoughts than happy ones.
9. I do not like that my nails don't look nice for longer than an hour unless I get acrylics
   
10. I do not like my natural hair color

Okay so the last two are kind of frivolous but that's ok cause I really don't like them. Some people may be shocked at my laying out there about depression, adhd, and such. I say who cares. It's not *MY* fault that I have these issues. They are imbalances in my brain. I also have anxiety issues (have had at least 2 panic attacks, one of which sent me to the hospital almost 2 years ago...wow has it been that long?!) Again, these are things I cannot control.

There is nothing inherently bad about struggling with depression/anxiety/adhd. It's all in how you deal with them. If I were to go out and get drunk or use illegal narcotics as a way of dealing with my issues, then yes that would be a problem. But I don't do those things instead I talk to my doctor about strategies to cope until the depression/anxiety goes away. Sadly there is no cure for adhd (if you ever hear of one, let me know!) so I am pretty much just to do coping strategies and medication for that. (yeah, did you see #7?! LOL)

Okay, enough of that. Now for my top ten things I *DO* like about myself

1. I like that I went back to college to pursue my dream of being a child counselor.
2. I like that I have gotten even more specific as to what types of child I want to help (those in blended families and/or whose parents are going through divorce)
3. I like that despite my issues, I am a good mom and my kids love me.
4. I like that, despite what is said about me, I am a good stepmom.
   
5. I like that I found a positive support system to surround myself with.
6. I like that I am homeschooling my son (this is something i never thought i'd have patience to do)
7. I like that I drink more water now
8. I like that I know how to dye my hair... hehe
9. I like that I ask for help when I need it.
10. I like that I don't always feel pain when I get hurt.
    

Again, some serious and some frivolous. #10 comes from the fact that I just looked at my finger and saw that apparently my finger got pinched at some point and bled under the skin. LOL I always get bruises that I have no idea how they got there. It's funny, really.

Anyway, I think my favorite on that list is that I am finally back in school working towards my degree in psychology. It will be a while because I have to go straight to grad school when I finish my undergrad but come 2017, I'll be rocking! :)

Anyway to try to combat #8 on the first list, I am going to (try to remember to) post a top 5 or top 10 every week of things I like about myself. And I am going to (try to) not repeat anything either!