Mar 11, 2009
Current mood:bitchy
Subject: Children need their fathers!
I was looking through the flair app and saw this wonderfully correct piece of flair:
I think that this is something that not just the bm's need to understand. The courts need to understand it too! No wonder there are bitter women out there trying to shove their child's father out of his/her life. The courts totally justify them to do so! A man has absolutely no rights to the child unless the child is born during a marriage. Whether the couple gets married or not, if the child is born before they are married it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if no court has granted custody to anyone or not. It doesn't matter if the father gets a DNA test done.
I think this is total bull crap! And, to those people who think that I believe this way because of my situation, that's so far from the truth. It's about right and wrong and what's best for the child!!! ANY child!!! Those who REALLY know me know that children have always been a priority in my life even before I ever had my own.
I think it's horrible for these children to not be allowed to have a RELATIONSHIP with their fathers! Oh, sure the father might have bi-weekly visitations. But that's hardly enough! Especially if there is a bm at the other house talking crap about the father to/infront of/within hearing of the child.
I say if the father really wants to be a part of the child's life, LET HIM!!!! There are bm's out there who would LOVE for their childrens' fathers to want to take an active part in the child/childrens' lives!!!! I know this because my husband and I work with a few.
I don't understand why the courts don't have things more evenly set up. I will readily admit that a child needs his/her mother. No one is disputing that. But the laws were set up with that in mind ONLY!! I'm not sure if people realize just how hard it is for a willing father to get custody of a child even if the mother is the worst mother on the planet. If they were never married, the courts are set up to completely screw the father!
Once you get into it and actually hear about these cases and laws and stuff, it's almost enough to encourage a guy who knocked up a girl to marry her just so that when he leaves he can take the child with him! (granted i would never ACTUALLY condone this...the Bible speaks out against divorce) But I can see why some would do it!
There needs to be a major change of the laws! Once paternity is proven, the father & mother should automatically be on an even playing field! Just because a woman has a uterus and carries the child for 9 months doesn't mean she should be given custody by default! There are so many crack head (used as a figure of speach although is probably literal too) mothers out there who had kids with decent men but because the mothers can put on a good show for the judge, they maintain custody even though the father is much better equipped to care for the child!
It's just WRONG!!!!!!!! I just wish I knew how to get the court system to listen and to change! Not for my husband, though it'd be nice, but I have 2 boys whom I love dearly! If they grow up and don't learn from Allen & my lives, and get a girl pregnant I don't want them to feel they must marry someone just because of the baby. I don't want them to get married out of love after the fact but then it doesn't work out and they can't take their child with them. I don't want my boys to possibly be screwed out of a relationship with their child like so many men are being screwed right now!!!
Okay, I'll get off my soap box now! 
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